Last Saturday, I had the pleasure of going to a St. Paddy's Day party at a new friend's house. We had corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes, natch. After eating, the group broke out a game called The Great Dalmuti. It's card game that, with the right players, can be a heck of a lot of fun. We did have the right players and Janiece giggled so hard, her mascara ran. One of the interesting aspects of the game is the strategy involved in knowing when to play what cards when (which, as with any strategy, can backfire). A key point to that strategy is gaining control of the game (ie. being the person who chooses which cards to put down at the beginning of a round). It occurred to me as we were playing, that I was not taking full advantage of the strategy and power plays.
I know that as a kid, I manipulated my brother and sister so that I would have power over them, mainly by exercising (or not) my ability to entertain them. As they grew up... as WE grew up, they found other sources of entertainment and I gave up the notion that I had (or wanted to have?) power over others.
So now, as an adult, I see when I give up positions of power. For example, if I do something not right, like snap at someone when I'm tired or cranky, I'll apologize for it later, even if it's not necessary. I know that apologizing unnecessarily puts me at a disadvantage in the game of human interaction, but I do it anyway. I'm not sure why. Why give up power for no apparent gain?
It's all an interesting puzzle.