9.05.2008

Responsibility

My previous post may have given the impression that my funk was based on a misunderstanding with a friend. It seemed to spring from that, but ultimately, I take responsibility for my reactions. Lord knows I've accidentally hurt friends (and enemies) through thoughtless pronouncements. Emotional responses are inevitable (for me, anyway) and it's my responsibility to sublimate those into useful life choices.
My friend didn't intend to hurt me. Do I say something about it? Do explain what happened and ask that we not speak about certain things (like two friends with opposing political stances might do)? Do I figure out what my association was (between what was said and how I interpreted it) and mentally disconnect it? (Actually, I've already tried that and apparently it hasn't "taken.") And how much of my emotional response was environmental (pressure changes in the weather, tiredness from staying up too late, etc.) and how much was a result of the actual event? It's that last one that I'm trying to figure out (especially since it's happened before). Actually, writing about it, I think I know exactly what pairing of condition and event elicited this reaction. Hmmmm... now what?
So, I'm processing. (And missing little kids waving at me.)

4 comments:

onewandering said...

God you sound like me.

If I was in Colorado, I'd come over with chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of wine and a we could draw up an excruciatingly complex Venn diagram for you to refer to! ;)

Anne C. said...

Hee hee hee! Jen, you are awesome! :)

Jeri said...

I'm more into weighted pro/con lists myself. LOL

I'm sorry you're having to go through such a painful time, especially when you've already been a bit down lately.

I hope things improve. :P

Anne C. said...

Thanks, Jeri. I'm sure they will (they generally do).
:)