6.28.2006

Stress Nightmare About Stress

I have nightmares very rarely. This morning, I think my dream qualified.
I was at work, at a design review meeting that I was simultaneously not invited to, but everyone was there. The review was about our company website and not a building. I found that interesting, since web design is something I'm a little more conversant on than the initial design of a building. Plus, there were some cool programs they were using that I knew nothing about. For some reason, some of my friends showed up too, and I found it difficult to tear myself away from a gathering that I found so interesting. I really had to, since I had a ton of work to do at my desk, but I didn't manage it until the very end of the dream, when I yelled at some architect of the community for delaying me (it took him *forever* just to take a picture of me and a friend). To top it all off, I needed to pick up my mum at the airport and I had no idea when she was getting there.
When I awoke, I realized I was failing in three ways. I was failing my family, since I couldn't fulfill my commitment to help my mum. I was failing my job, since I wasn't getting the actual work done that was on my desk, despite being at work. This is a very real concern of mine, as I have been feeling less than effective at work. Oh, I've been getting stuff done, but I've not been getting enough (in my opinion) done.
And most interestingly, I was failing myself. My interests, technology and design, were not being fed. I felt extremely sad that I: a) wasn't conversant about the programs being used for the web design and b) wasn't being included in the process. I thought I was supposed to be at my desk producing work and not dilly-dallying with the design or the functioning of the office. I say "I thought" because there was no evidence that this is what the managers of the office thought.
I can still feel the weight of the dream pressing on me. "I really shouldn't be writing this in my blog, I should go to work early," I'm thinking. I'm temporizing. I woke up an hour early, so I'm using half of it to write this here and the other half to go to work early.

4 comments:

belsum said...

Very interesting dream analysis. Very literal. I'm intrigued!

Anne said...

Sometimes it's easiest to interpret the dream immediately upon waking.
This one was particularly clear because I know failure is something I have always worried about. (I know, I know. Join the club. Membership: 5 (6?) Billion.)
I will point out also that I believe this was merely a picture of my current worries. I don't have prophetic dreams. If I do, I don't recognize them as such.
As for the literalness of the dream, I think that the more obscure dreams don't get analyzed because I'm not subtle enough to interpret them.
For example: The night after I had this dream, I had another. I dreamt I woke up very late. I wasn't really worried about missing work though, because one of my bosses was there. There were some other random people there and we walked down a forested path, doing odd things now and then or interacting with odd people. Finally we reached some sort of boathouse where I did a few moves of tai chi (whether in an exhibition or for myself, I'm not sure) and then the dream was over. I think I was dressed in my pyjamas (which is to say, not much) the whole time, but it didn't really bother me. Actually, that reminds me of a dream I had last night during which I went to work and was naked, but no one commented. I'm pretty sure that's a pretty common dream.
Anyway, I didn't really come up with an interpretation for the forest dream because it really could be practically anything.

belsum said...

I do have prophetic dreams; have since I was about 11. The problem is, I don't know if it's prophetic until I "catch up" to that point in time. Then I have a moment of confusion while I remember that I dreamt the mundane details of that particular situation and that's that.

So I don't do much dream analysis actually. The ones that really disturb me, maybe. Like, I had a recurring dream of getting shot in the head at close range. I started being able to escape, but still get gunned down. Then I did escape fully. And then I stopped having them altogether. That all coincided with school, high school, college, and graduation so I'm guessing it was a stress thing. Still, very unnerving to repeatedly die in a dream.

Anne said...

Unnerving indeed! Especially considering you have prophetic dreams. Yeesh!
I'm kind of glad I don't. My logical side takes out much of the surprise in life, I'd rather keep the small amount that I do have. :)