Does everyone assume that they are somewhere in the middle of the bell curve on most things, or is it just me? For example, I think I'm probably slightly higher than average on intelligence, average on looks, average fitness/weight, etc. Statistically speaking, I'm more likely to be correct in this assumption than not.
However, I've noticed that it makes me susceptible to misunderstanding teasing that is (according to the teaser) "obviously" not true. My brother can attest to this tendency.
For example, I asked The Squeeze if I were high maintainance (stupid question, like asking "am I fat?"). He said yes. I was hurt by this, because I don't think I am. I told him the next day that I was hurt. He said: I thought you knew I was kidding. You are so obviously not high maintainance. You are the opposite.
Oh.
It isn't like this is a new thing. He likes to tease me that I'm Type A personality and a "typical" first born. I don't fall for those, 'cause I know I'm not.
I accept responsibility for my over-reaction and have to remember that I have a sensitivity there with the whole "maintainance" issue.
But why do some things seem obvious to others, and not to me?
4 comments:
I think it is human nature to think we are in the middle, not wanting to be excluded by any "group". I would agree with your assessment of yourself. I think we tend to be sensitive about things we don't want to become and feel we've spent time improving. I would suggest that someone who is a friend would understand the sensitivity and maybe cut down or out teasing about things that upset you (and let's face it, we usually know what this is) and only tease you about things that are in the safe category. I think it is a danger to assume someone knows you are teasing about something that important and should have immediately said they were kidding. PS enjoyed talking with squeeze last night
I agree with the reason for some sensitivity. And the truly upsetting teasing has not been repeated, though I would argue that it's not always that easy to tell on the first occurance of the teasing
I don't tend to do this kind of teasing myself, mainly because it's so uncertain, but I notice that guys tend to do it more. Part of that kindergarten type of flirtation.
You've been sensitive to teasing for as long as I've known you. I've found that when I jump to my defense too quickly or take something the wrong way, most if the time it has 100% to do with my own insecurities about the subject. It's different when someone's intent is to be malicious or take advantage of those insecurities, but that very rarely happens.
My experience in the world of males is teasing is often used to cover-up what is really meant to hurt, if the reaction get out of hand. Like I didn't mean to hurt you that much... All that being said, teasing between two people who know each other really well is done in a way that attests to that fact and can be rather nice. But ONLY when the relationship is that secure. And in such cases, I prefer to not veil our caring for the other person in teasing. I agree with Max, I always jump to wrong conclusions from being too sensitive...
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