A male architect I work with was invited out to lunch with the construction side of the business. I have to admit I was jealous. It is nice to feel included and it certainly doesn't hurt that there are several good-looking guys in the bunch.
But after some thought, I also have to admit that were I invited, it would be because I was "just one of the guys" and not perceived as a threat in that way that all single men think of women as a threat (which, to be perfectly honest, has a corallary in the female thought process). Would I want to be seen as non-threatening? I don't think so, but what do I know? I've been working lately on highlighting my femininity, which brings with it "otherness", which can be threatening.
I do so enjoy being included though.
2 comments:
Are you wanting to be included so that you can possibly hook up? Or so that you can make business connections? Or just so you get to go out to eat with a group?
But mostly, I'm very curious about what "highlighting [your] feminity" might entail! ;-)
To be perfectly honest, all three. The most PC reason is, of course, the second one. Getting to know your coworkers is usually good for the team, etc. And I enjoy getting to know what goes through construction guys' (the project managers' not the laborers') heads.
The third is true too. I do like going to eat with a group sometimes (though I'm not sure that particular time I could have afforded to).
And though I really shouldn't hook up with anyone I work with, but I'm not going to refuse an opportunity for that reason. I do like me some cute guy company.
What if it had been a group of women? I might have felt a little excluded, but not really cared. What if it had been a group of friends? I would have felt excluded for sure.
What if it had been a group of married male coworkers? I wouldn't have cared.
Ok, that put the nail in the proverbial coffin -- I'm just a horndog. ;)
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